The Secret of Making Space (Even If Your Schedule is Crazy)

The Secret of Making Space (Even If Your Schedule is Crazy)

May 6, 2013 Work-Life Balance

The Secret of Making Space (Even If Your Schedule is Crazy) by guest blogger, Christian Simamora

We are very good at ‘doing.’ But there’s something else.

The domain of  being.’ “

– Jon Kabat-Zinn

makingpaceI am obsessed with doing. I worship at the altar of David Allen’s Getting Things Done. I geek out over new productivity apps. I derive great satisfaction in crossing an item off my to-do list.

I also live in a culture obsessed with doing. Our language is one of productivity. Time management. Busyness. (Business). We measure Gross National Product as an indicator of our country’s health. We eat in front of our laptops, typing as we chew, dropping crumbs in between the buttons on our keyboard.

Doing is necessary. It enables us to express our inner selves in the physical world for survival, growth, evolution, and enjoyment.

But, I’ve been feeling out of balance.

Every year that goes by (I’m 35) I grow more resentful of the gravitational pull email has on my time. Things that used to matter to me – like enjoying a good novel – have fallen by the wayside as I tackle my Sisyphean task list instead. Rather than gratitude for the blessed life I live, I feel anxiety about whether I have accomplished enough at my age.

An Incomplete Framework

Elevating “doing” as the ultimate good is an incomplete framework. What’s more, it distorts our value system. Using vacation time or taking a sick day are viewed with suspicion. Our companies lag behind the rest of the world in offering maternity or paternity leave. We worry more about accomplishments and how much we’ve done than about character, or the human relationships around us, or the impact we have on the Earth.

What does constant doing leave us with?

It leaves us with no space to reflect.

It erodes our patience, and thus, our ability to think long-term.

We mistake rest and recovery for a lack of work ethic.

In this warped perspective, things that serve us well – reflection, patience, rest – are seen as enemies.

Consequently, we get sick. Frustrated. Burnt out. We become less kind to those we love. We lose sight of our purpose. We lack meaning in our lives.

The Counterbalance to Doing

I understand with greater clarity that there is a counterbalance to doing that is equally as important.

Making space.

“Making space” is my term for the process of creating room in my life so that I can live more mindfully.

For me, living mindfully is the practice of being present and aware so that I can uncover what is unnoticed or unseen, like habits and reactive patterns. Once these are uncovered, I can ponder and consider them. If needed, I can make the decision to change them. In other words, I am able to live purposefully.

Why do I eat lunch in front of my computer? Do I enjoy it when I eat lunch this way? Am I avoiding being with people? Or am I anxious about my schedule? Do I actually get work done when I do this?

In addition to living more mindfully, I find that making space helps me to feel better. I avoid “computer fog.” I find the capacity to be kinder to people because I’m less rushed. My creativity levels are higher and my overall output increases.

Making Space (Even If Your Schedule is Crazy)

So, how do you “make space?”

Below, I outline some concrete suggestions that I’ve tried personally and that you can experiment with immediately. I am sharing these suggestions as someone whose schedule is incredibly packed. I am one of four at a start-up nonprofit that runs a global program authorized by the Dalai Lama. I am also planning a wedding.

A word of caution. Be wary of applying the “doing” paradigm to this. Resist the urge to create a long checklist of “mindful things” to do. Choose one or two things from the list that seem like they might be enjoyable and start there. It might also help if you approach it as a practice instead of a goal.

Curate Your Life

We all have 24 hours per day, and one day, we will die. A typical response to this reality is to engineer packing as much as possible into each day before you kick the can. Sleep when you’re dead, they say.

I invite you to consider an alternative perspective.

What would your life feel like if you had less stuff to do? What would it feel like if you only worked on things that really mattered to you, either because they pay the bills or because they connect with your deepest values and bring joy into your life? (And what would your life feel like if you got the sleep you needed?)

Invitations:

  • Ask yourself: What is one commitment I have right now that I can let go of with no harm to myself or others? Then, make a decision to let it go and open up that space in your calendar.
  • Rinse and repeat if desired.

Go On A Content Diet

We live in a magical time. The world’s information is at our fingertips (if we’re fortunate enough to have a device and web connection.) There are more books, blogs, magazines, tweets, TV shows, posts, tumbles, and videos than we can get through in a hundred lifetimes.

Do we need that much content?

Imagine if all you did was eat all day, and without concern for what you were eating. Well, that’s what many of us do far too often with content. What important priorities or questions are we avoiding when we click on yet another link to learn about the best hangover cures or what so-and-so wore to an awards show?

Invitations:

  • List all the blogs, books, and magazines you are currently reading (except what is requisite for work). For one week, choose only ONE to read. If it’s a book or magazine and you finish it before the week is done, feel free to select another item. After seven days, how much time opened up in your schedule?
  • Tell your friends ahead of time, and for one full week, do not check Facebook or Twitter. What felt different about your week?
  • Unsubscribe from any newsletter or email lists that hit your inbox except for two to three that truly matter to you.
  • Before you look at your phone, ask yourself, why am I looking at my phone?

Leverage the Power of the Pause

Emerging research is confirming what I knew intuitively. Working hard is fine. Working hard all the time without breaks is not fine. Our minds and bodies function better and are healthier if we follow periods of work with periods of restoration.

Invitations:

– Take a ten-minute walk after lunch instead of returning immediately to work.

– Make the conscious choice not to eat at your desk, and instead, eat with others or eat mindfully three times this week.

– When you finish one task or project, whether personal or professional, close your eyes and take ten long, deep breaths before you move on to the next task or project.

– Have you made use of your vacation / sick days? If not, make a decision to play “hooky” one day that will not impact your team in the next two weeks.

About the author

Melissa Llarena: is the CEO and career coach behind Career Outcomes Matter. Her craft is coaching top executives on how to dissect and deliver the perfect job interview. Her client base includes US-based as well as international business leaders with 15-plus years of experience who are undeniably really good at what they do yet simply want a strategic partner who can quickly fully understand their tangible and intangible contributions to effectively scale up their interviewing skills for the toughest interviews. Click to gain instant access to her 20-page interview preparation kit to gain an edge then schedule a phone call to see how she’d leverage her most powerful insights based on your unique situation -- all in time for your next interview.